


Only When I Stop To Think About It

by Namikoa



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Magic, Emotionally Constipated Cobra, F/M, Rated For Cobra's Potty Mouth, Sassy Kinana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 12:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20948684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Namikoa/pseuds/Namikoa
Summary: Cobra's having a bad day. His alarm didn't go off and now he's risking physical harm from his employer if he doesn't hurry up and get to work on time. To add insult to injury, the cute girl he bumped into stole his wallet.





	Only When I Stop To Think About It

The first time it happened, Cobra was mildly impressed.

Cobra considered himself to be observant, those around him would agree, attributing his skills to his exceptionally sharp hearing. But as it happened, that morning was a frantic mess.

He had an important meeting scheduled with his editor, Ultear, at work that day for nine o’clock sharp, and she had threatened to crush his fingers one by one with that weird crystal ball she always kept on her desk if he was even a minute late.

Cobra had set his alarm for six am to make sure there was absolutely no margin for error with his wake-up time. It would also give him plenty of room to have breakfast, get some coffee at that Fairy Tail café that was run by a bunch of weirdos, and be able to have a leisurely walk to work instead of a mad dash that had happened twice before.

Despite his foolproof plan, his alarm never went off on the morning in question and the maroon-haired man ended up waking up at random. He sleepily turned his head to the clock and promptly sat up, horrified.

The clock blinked eight thirty am mockingly at him.

“What the actual fuck!” In his mad scramble off his bed, Cobra tangled himself in the sheets, landing with a faceplant to the floor. With no time for a shower or breakfast, he quickly dressed, grabbed his work bag and wallet and rushed out the door.

He lived fairly close to the Crime Sorciere newspaper building he worked at, but it would take more than thirty minutes to walk there. The journalist adjusted his speed to be a brisk walk, just short of a jog.

Cobra did consider himself to be an observant person, it was just that this particular morning his mind was occupied on how best to beg for mercy from Ultear or to convince Jellal to reign her in.

So it was just his luck that a young woman appeared in his path seemingly out of nowhere. With no time to slow down, Cobra plowed right into her.

The maroon-haired man stumbled back a step, but the girl toppled over onto the ground.

Cobra muttered several expletives under his breath. He didn’t have time for this! Ultear was going to maim him and he would never hear the end of it from Racer who would find the whole thing unspeakably _hilarious. _

The girl, still on the ground, groaned in pain as she rubbed her forehead, where she presumably had smacked into his chest.

Cobra had half a mind to just ignore her entirely and keep walking (He was so close to his job, he could practically taste it!) but Angel had been drilling manners into him the last few months.

_It’s because you’re not a gentleman, that’s why girls don’t like you, _she had said with an angry tilt of her head when he had refused to pull out a chair for her at the last company dinner they attended.

The journalist groaned in his head as he reached a hand down to help the girl with purple hair stand up.

“You alright?” he asked gruffly.

The girl looked up at him with the brightest pair of green eyes Cobra had ever seen, it momentarily took him aback.

“I think so…” She said so softly that he had to lean closer to hear her, “Just a little bruised but-whoa!”

The purple-haired girl was clumsier than he had realized as she had stepped on her own dress as she stood, causing her to topple into Cobra once more.

She threw her arms around his waist to steady herself, as he grabbed onto her shoulders. For one heartbeat they looked into each other’s faces at close proximity before the girl was finally able to right herself and step back.

“Uh, oh my gosh, I’m sorry.” She stuttered out, with a pretty blush adorning her features.

Cobra _wanted_ to be annoyed, this girl was making him waste precious time after all (never mind the fact that _he_ was the one who had bumped into _her_), but he couldn’t find it in him for some reason.

“It’s fine.” He replied stiltedly. Maybe Angel was onto something, he did have trouble talking to girls.

“Okay, well uh, bye then.” The purple-haired girl smiled bashfully at him before lifting her hand to give a small wave as she turned to leave.

Cobra stared after her for a moment before shaking his head and checking his watch.

“Shit!” He only had five minutes left until he was going to need splints for his fingers.

As he flat out started sprinting, Cobra thought back to the girl with her short purple hair, bright green eyes, tight fitting dress and the soft way she spoke…

The journalist scowled. What was wrong with him? It wasn’t like him to be affected so much by a pretty face. He’s seen plenty of beautiful people day in day out. Hell, most of his co-workers fit that standard. So why did this girl make him notice her?

It doesn’t matter, he thought as he finally made it to his building with one minute to spare. He was digging through his pockets to pull out his work ID when he realized that he no longer had his wallet.

* * *

The next time it happened, Cobra wanted to face palm.

It had been a week since that damn woman stole his wallet and he’s had to deal with annoyance after annoyance since.

He got away with just being screamed at by Ultear only because Meredy was able to calm her down after he ended up being a whopping three minutes late to their meeting.

That woman clearly needed to get out more.

He also had to cancel all of his credit cards, buy a new wallet _and _get a new license issued from the DMV. On top of all that, he’d also had to listen to both Angel and Racer laugh their asses off at him.

“A girl stole your wallet?” Racer guffawed, one night when they had all went out for drinks after work.

“It’s not that damn funny.” Cobra snarled, throwing his drink back.

“Yes is it, you don’t think so only because it happened to you.”

Angel regarded the maroon-haired man thoughtfully. “How did she get the drop on you in the first place? You notice the smallest things. It honestly gets annoying.”

“I was _busy _that morning.” Cobra stressed.

“Yeah but…” Angel trailed off with a growing smirk, “Wait. Was she cute?”

Racer paused before laughing even louder. “Oh my god, Cobra. Really?”

“Shut up! And I don’t know, I wasn’t paying attention.” The tall man snapped irritably.

“Oh, you’re so bad at lying,” Angel drawled, “So she was cute.”

“Did you get her number?” Racer asked before slapping a hand on the bar top.

“I swear I will murder both of you. How about some sympathy, huh?”

The blond man and the white-haired girl looked at each other before breaking out into peals of laughter.

“Why don’t you ask your _girlfriend _for some sympathy?” Angel choked out.

Those two are the absolute worst, Cobra thought to himself angrily as he stalked home from work.

As he trudged home, debating whether to get take-out or just cook something, he overhead a struggle to his left.

“Just let it go already, damn it!” A man’s voice shouted.

“No, please!” A woman’s voice responded frantically.

Cobra abruptly swung around toward the noise and saw a man trying to take a purse from a woman behind the convenience store on the corner.

Despite what Angel may have thought, Cobra _was _a gentleman. Maybe not necessarily a good person, but he couldn’t stand it when people picked on those weaker than them.

He rushed forward and grabbed the man’s shoulder, flipping him around before decking him across the face. The man dropped like a bag of bricks.

Cobra scooped up the girl’s purse, which had fallen in the scuffle, and turned to give it back. He stopped short at the sight of her face. It was _the girl. _The bitch who had stolen his wallet.

“Oh, thank you so much.” She gushed as she accepted her purse back. The purple-haired woman looked up at his face and also paused.

The maroon-haired man smirked. “Well well well. So, the thief was getting robbed.”

The girl blushed. “W-What do you mean?” Her eyes lit up in recognition. “Oh! I bumped into you last week.”

Cobra scowled. “Don’t play coy. You stole my damn wallet!”

“What, I…No-”

“Why don’t you cut the bullshit? You’re lying.” He seethed.

“I-I know. Look, I’m, I’m really sorry.” The girl said meekly.

“Do I look like I give a fuck?” Cobra demanded, “Just give it back!” He backed her into the wall before planting an arm next to her head, boxing her in.

The purple-haired girl trembled as she brought her hands up to her face.

“I’m really sorry.” She mumbled, her shoulders shaking as a sob tore its way out of her throat.

Cobra faltered. He hadn’t meant to make her cry. He noticed the beginnings of a bruise on her wrist from where the mugger had grabbed her to steal her purse. Cobra suddenly felt like the worst kind of person. Not sure what to do with himself, he backed away, so he wasn’t in her space anymore.

“Look um,” the journalist started, “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m…sorry.” She should damn appreciate how rare it was for _Cobra _to apologize to anyone, he thought.

The girl lowered her hands, revealing tears glistening in her still amazingly bright eyes.

“What’s your name?” Cobra fished for something to say.

She watched him for a long moment. “Kinana.” She murmured at last.

“Kinana.” He repeated, and stuck out a hand, “I’m Cobra.”

She took his hand tentatively. “Cobra? That’s an odd name.”

He shrugged. “It’s sort of a nickname honestly.”

Kinana hummed in understanding and an awkward silence descended on them.

“Um look. Have you ever been to Fairy Tail?” He asked.

The purple-haired smiled. “Yes, I have! I love that café.”

Cobra felt like smiling back, but barely refrained. “Ok, how about I buy you some coffee? To make up for making you cry.”

Kinana frowned. “Oh no, you don’t have to do that. I mean, I _stole your wallet_. I uh, definitely don’t deserve kindness from you.” She wrung her hands worriedly.

Cobra waved her off. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s go.” What the hell! He thought to himself. _Don’t worry about it?_ He had planned to murder this woman several different ways in the week since he had seen her last.

“Well, if you’re sure…” She said.

“I am, let’s go.” The maroon-haired man replied before turning to lead the way to Fairy Tail.

Honestly, what the hell was it about this girl that had him acting this way?

* * *

“So Cobra is kind of an unusual nickname.” Kinana said as they sat down at one of the café tables with their drinks.

“It’s my penname.”

The purple-haired woman’s eyes widened in surprise. “You’re an author?”

Cobra smiled a little at her expression. “Journalist actually.”

“Oh, I didn’t know journalists used pennames.”

The maroon-haired man shrugged. “They don’t usually, I just never wanted to use my real name.”

“What is your real name then?”

“I figured you’d know.”

Kinana cocked her head to the side. “What do you mean?”

Cobra gave her a flat look. “You have my wallet; my license was in there. You could have looked at it and seen my real name.”

Kinana blushed once more. It was…distracting.

“I really am sorry about that. I-I was having a bad day and needed money. And I still have your wallet at my house, and I can give it back!”

Cobra laughed at her rambling, cutting her off effectively. “It’s okay. But if I could get it back, that’d be great.”

Kinana now seemed to be the one distracted as she gazed at him without saying anything.

“What?” The journalist asked confusedly.

“Nothing, nothing. It’s just…you look really nice when you smile.” Kinana said coyly, biting her bottom lip.

“Thanks…” To his supreme embarrassment, Cobra felt a blush of his own creeping up. Was she flirting? Was this whole thing like a date? He had no idea what to do.

“I don’t know if I ever properly thanked you for saving me earlier,” Kinana continued, placing a hand on his arm, “Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come along.”

She gazed earnestly into his eyes, with her blush being the only thing betraying her nerves.

Cobra coughed, abruptly breaking the moment. “You’re welcome.” He said gruffly.

She moved her hand and Cobra wanted to sigh with relief. How was he so intensely bad at this?

Kinana glanced at her phone and winced. “As much as I have been enjoying your company, I have to head home now.” She said with a regretful smile.

“Oh, of course.” Cobra said as they both stood up. He took their empty drinks and threw them away. He placed a hand on the small of Kinana’s back as they exited the café. She smiled at him in response. It was disarming.

“Do you live far?” He asked as he dropped his hand.

“Oh no, it’s close enough to walk. It’s just…” Kinana trailed off with a frown.

“Just what?”

She looked uncomfortable as she rubbed her injured wrist. Cobra suddenly understood.

“I can walk you home.” He offered. Angel would be so proud of him, he thought with no small amount of chagrin at having to tell her this story.

Kinana smiled brightly at him. “If you don’t mind.” She said, not even trying to protest.

They walked in silence for a bit before Kinana’s phone beeped with a text.

“It’s Laki, my sister. She’s wondering where I’m at.” She muttered before typing out a quick response.

“You have a sister?”

The purple-haired woman shrugged. “She’s not my actual sister, but we’ve always stuck together through the foster homes.”

The journalist blinked in surprise. “Me too.” He said.

Kinana glanced over at him in confusion.

“I was also in the foster care system.” He clarified.

“Oh!” She said, “It’s tough, isn’t it? Did you have anyone there to keep you sane? Laki was there for me.”

Cobra thought of Racer and Angel whom he had grown up with. They were his best friends even though he wanted to kill them on an almost daily basis.

He smiled slightly. “Yeah, I did.”

* * *

Night had steadily fallen as they approached her apartment building. They climbed the steps until they stood directly in front of the door.

“This is me.” Kinana gestured behind her.

“Right. Well uh,” Cobra floundered for something to say, “Have a…good night then.” He finished lamely. He cursed himself silently as he turned around to walk away.

“Wait!” Kinana said latching onto his arm again.

Cobra turned back, hopeful.

The purple-haired woman blushed yet again. “I uh…was hoping you would indulge me one last time,” She gave a self-deprecating chuckle, “I mean, I probably shouldn’t even ask since I took your wallet, you saved me, and then bought me coffee, and _then _walked me home. I really don’t deserve it, do I?”

Cobra looked amused. “It’s _okay. _Just say it. What is it?”

Kinana bit her lip again. “Well uh…” She trailed off as she moved closer to Cobra.

He held his breath as she placed her hands on his chest and brushed a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

She leaned back with a fiery blush. “Thanks again.” She murmured.

Something in Cobra finally snapped as he yanked her back close to him and sealed his mouth over hers. Kinana gasped in surprise, before the sound turned into a moan as Cobra slid his tongue into her mouth.

He slowly dragged one of his hands up her back, before tangling it into her hair, holding her head still as he plundered her mouth. Kinana sighed as she ran her hands from his waist up to his shoulders, before hanging on for dear life.

Instead of all that awkward flirting;_ this _was something Cobra was good at, especially judging by the noises Kinana kept making.

When the need for air became too great, they broke apart, chests heaving for breath. Cobra brushed a lock of Kinana’s hair behind her ear as he admired her brilliant eyes.

“Wow, you’re uh good at that.” She whispered, voice hoarse.

Cobra smirked. “Yeah?” He asked, with a nip to her neck.

She squeaked before placing her hands on his chest again. “Wait, wait! We’ll be out here all night if you do keep doing that.”

He grinned but stepped away.

“Do you happen to have a pen and paper? I figure a journalist would always have one.” Kinana asked.

Cobra blinked at the non-sequitur but opened his bag and pulled out his notepad, handing it to her.

Kinana quickly scribbled something down, smiling mischievously the while, before tearing it off the pad and folding it. She handed it all back to him, and Cobra went to open the note.

“No!” Kinana cried, “Don’t read it right in front of me, wait until you get home.”

Cobra shrugged but slipped the note into his pocket. He stepped closer to her again and leaned in next to her ear.

“Makes me wonder what you wrote.” He smirked as he felt her shiver.

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” She turned and caught his lips once more.

Cobra leaned back. “Guess I ought to get going now.”

Kinana bit her lip. “Guess so. Good night…Cobra.” She opened the door and went inside.

* * *

Cobra finally made it home, long after his work day had ended yet he couldn’t find it in him to be angry about that. He was on cloud fucking _nine. _When was the last time he had made out with someone? Cobra didn’t know, and it was time to fix that. It helped that it was with _Kinana. _The journalist didn’t know why, but she had worked her way under his skin in such a short time.

As he searched for his house keys in his pockets, he bumped into the edge of Kinana’s note. He smirked, hoping it was her phone number. Just as he was about to pull it out, he stopped abruptly.

He didn’t have his wallet.

“You’re fucking kidding me.” Cobra said disbelievingly. She fucking didn’t.

Remembering the note, he quickly pulled it out and opened it up.

_That was fun. Same time next week? I’ll buy the coffee._

_See you around, Erik ;)_

Cobra laughed incredulously. She was serious? She would buy the coffee? With his money, no doubt!

Despite all the annoyance he felt at getting tricked _again _by the same person, he couldn’t help but feel a small tendril of intrigue. It had been a long time since someone had captured his attention so thoroughly. Maybe this game they were playing…could be fun. Cobra found himself looking forward to the next time he would see her as he finally entered his home.

Hell, maybe this time _he _would steal _her _wallet.

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: kissed them as a distraction while stealing their wallet au


End file.
